As many of you know, tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. And a large part of it involves eating. Admittedly, the United States has abundant food, although some of our citizens run a bit low on the stuff. So, for Thanksgiving, I will provide you with the longest poem I have ever written:
Survival of the Fattest
I took a survey just for fun
I asked each and every one
If they thought that they were greedier than I
I assumed they understood
And they weren’t up to no good
And that half should have been low and half been high
For I’m a median sort of man
In the middle of the span
Surely it would turn out as I said
So, I wrote down their conclusions
And hoped had no illusions
But as I figured all the numbers in my head
It seemed it wasn’t so at all
Not even close, as I recall
For I fell far below the greed I thought I had
It seemed there was a large delight
In being at the height
And the implications of this fact are rather sad
But think! It makes good sense
In the logic of events
That the guy who has the most is bound to last
Evolution (Darwin’s guess)
Was surely bound to bless
The greediest of the greedies in the past
You think it’s just a spoof?
You want objective proof?
Well take a moment friend and simply look around
Little cars are getting big
And we each eat like a pig
So you see my theory really is quite sound
Once resigned to such a case
You’re quick to say you have no trace
Of remorse for what you want or how you act
It’s the natural scheme of things
Certainly of the truth it rings
Greed is really good, and that’s a fact
You see it as a drive
To keep you and yours alive
Why then is greed a bad thing for too seek?
I suppose it’s the institution
Of the word called distribution
For the average guy is well below the peak
But surely competition
Prevents the repetition
Of a strategy of life that always looses
A lack of greed will weed you out
Your offspring will be few no doubt
While the greedy guy has all the kids he chooses
But the wrench within the gears
Is that things do change with years
Nothing stays the same — no status quo
Since the greedier we get
As though Darwin drove us yet
We must ask ourselves how far this thing will go?
Is it not greed that starts all wars
Annihilates millions by the scores
Creates the hatred in our hearts for wrongs past done?
If we follow at this pace
Will we delete the human race
To the point that left standing is just one?
But how to rid us of this plague
Is an issue that is vague
It’s as if a gear inside a clock
Said, “I’m just a cog, I would opine
But even so, I’ll redesign
These works to stop the Tick, but save the Tock
For all our wisdom, we’re but small
So even though we know it all
We cannot change one tiny part of all this greed
We have instituted laws
But greed is still a mighty cause
And our plan is lacking something that we need
Take ethics for example
For although money is quite ample
Among the rich who seem to need more all the time
Their view is “take what’s showing
Especially if it’s glowing
For as long as you’re not caught, it is no crime!”
So much for jurisprudence
It’s wasted on the students
Of the greedy gots who run the railroad on this earth
For although you think giving
Is the better part of living
The greedies will just grab for all you’re worth
We also tried religion
Which we thought might help a smidgen
Maybe moral codes will do the trick?
Oh, but wait, remember war
And how many were fought for
Religious codes that generally make one sick
Even in written words
When we talk of worms and birds
It’s the guy who gets there first who gets it all
So if you want to be not needy
Then you’d better turn quite greedy
Or you’re the one who’ll have to take the fall
I guess I’m back where from I came
I still see things the same
But, I haven’t solved the problem that I found
Like world hunger, wars, and illness
Or the noise that shatters stillness
I’m convinced that greed will always be around
Art Davenport
February 2000